An addiction to the consumption of alcoholic beverages. In no way, shape, or form is it a disease, despite what those pompous assholes at AA try to tell you. Why the hell every other psychoactive drug in the world gets people addicted, but alcohol magically inflicts a disease, is beyond me. Smokers aren't said to have a disease because they're unable to quit smoking. Drinkers who have the exact same problem shouldn't be tagged as 'having a disease' either, but they do in order to make the AA pricks feel like they're some kind of miracle workers for "curing people every day."
Bob: "I got exactly the news I didn't wanna get from my doctor today, Jim ..."
Jim: "Me too. I recently discovered I have alcoholism and need to get cured. My doctor told me this disease could be fatal if I don't get the necessary treatment to quit drinking."
Bob: "That's nice. My doctor informed me I've got brain cancer. Wanna trade 'diseases?' All you have to do is grow a pair, get some willpower, and stop buying the shit. I wish it were that easy for me. I'll be spending the next several months getting blasted with radiation and probably won't survive. Sorry to hear about your impending battle with quitting drinking though. Good luck, I'm sure it will be a tough road to travel."
Jim: "Thanks, you're a great friend. I'll need all the luck I can get."
Bob: "The apology and wishing luck was sarcasm, dumbass."